Chaos Can Be Peaceful

I listened to jazz on the radio under the swinging bridge while lightning flared up in the sky. The chaos in my ears and eyes brought thoughts of happiness and peace. Behind saxophone licks, crickets sung from the grass though my open window and filled the air with excitement and energy. For a town with nothing going on, there sure is a lot happening. 

Thanks, But No Thanks

I was hoping for a great realization about how I feel in regards to graduating. It did not come. Instead, graduation seems like a petty insignificance to the whole. Do not get me wrong. I enjoyed my grad party and the graduation ceremony immensely but graduation, per se, does little to make me feel like I'm ready to go into the world. What did I accomplish, really? I managed to show up and do my homework for four years. I am congratulated for doing what I'm told for four years. And now I'm on my own and there is no congratulations for living life. A funeral is the only "celebration" for living your life. Perhaps I deserve no congratulations just yet.  

In the past week since I got out of school, I've done little except stay up late, sleep in and hang out with my friends. But I've done quite a bit. I have spent more time by the Swinging Bridge than the average Galesvillian. I have gone through more packs of cigarettes than I care to count. I have put more money in the bank than I ever have before. I ate Little Caesar's with stifled laughter at 11.30p. I listened to a veteran-for-peace curse at the wind for blowing his papers around. I nearly ran over a bird on my longboard. I graduated high school. I have eaten enough potato salad for the next five years of my life. And there's still more. I left a party to evade possible, and eventual, cop intervention. I wrote a song. I tasted six different flavors of McDonald's ice cream for free and walked away without buying anything. I handwritten twenty-some thank you cards. I've become infatuated with the works of Henry David Thoreau. I saw my older sister for the first time since she left on her world trip in November. I tested mattresses with Melinda for an hour. I've gotten to know old friends better than I've ever known them before. I learned how to stop and smell the roses now that I have more time in my day. I've never had this much fun.