Thanks, But No Thanks

I was hoping for a great realization about how I feel in regards to graduating. It did not come. Instead, graduation seems like a petty insignificance to the whole. Do not get me wrong. I enjoyed my grad party and the graduation ceremony immensely but graduation, per se, does little to make me feel like I'm ready to go into the world. What did I accomplish, really? I managed to show up and do my homework for four years. I am congratulated for doing what I'm told for four years. And now I'm on my own and there is no congratulations for living life. A funeral is the only "celebration" for living your life. Perhaps I deserve no congratulations just yet.  

In the past week since I got out of school, I've done little except stay up late, sleep in and hang out with my friends. But I've done quite a bit. I have spent more time by the Swinging Bridge than the average Galesvillian. I have gone through more packs of cigarettes than I care to count. I have put more money in the bank than I ever have before. I ate Little Caesar's with stifled laughter at 11.30p. I listened to a veteran-for-peace curse at the wind for blowing his papers around. I nearly ran over a bird on my longboard. I graduated high school. I have eaten enough potato salad for the next five years of my life. And there's still more. I left a party to evade possible, and eventual, cop intervention. I wrote a song. I tasted six different flavors of McDonald's ice cream for free and walked away without buying anything. I handwritten twenty-some thank you cards. I've become infatuated with the works of Henry David Thoreau. I saw my older sister for the first time since she left on her world trip in November. I tested mattresses with Melinda for an hour. I've gotten to know old friends better than I've ever known them before. I learned how to stop and smell the roses now that I have more time in my day. I've never had this much fun.